Whimsy and Whiskey Part 2

The next logical step: Google. I already knew I’d need a literary agent to get things going, but how do I find one? I searched picture books similar to mine for information on representation. Didn’t get much from that. But after some deep-diving, I stepped into a sort of time warp, back to my college years, because I completely rediscovered the Literary Marketplace!

Way back when, I was all bright-eyed and drunk on dreams, I asked for a copy of the Literary Marketplace for Christmas. Wasn’t I adorable. That was one BIG FAT book. Now, it can all be found online! And, for $24.95, I could access its database for a whole week! So I did it! And boy, that one-week time limit was stressful! I was a maniac, searching and bookmarking agencies and deciphering if in fact they do represent Children’s books.

When I tired from searching, I’d go back and read through all of their agents’ profiles. I’d think to myself, Oh, they seem nice. They seem like someone who’d get it. But then BAM, like a door slamming in my face, they’d be closed to submissions. Seriously? But my search was ceaseless, and I was almost always able to find one agent open to submissions at each of my newly discovered agencies. So then I began their Querying processes.

Querying a Literary Agent ain’t easy. Every single agent has a different set of rules to follow. It’s comparable to the tediousness of applying for a job. And there’s warnings up, down, left, and right about if you do it even a little bit wrong, you’ll be immediately deleted. No pressure. So I queried several agents over the course of a few days. Then I waited.

During the madness of searching and querying, I took an evening with Keith and we went out to The Hamilton Superette to celebrate his 39th Birthday. I remember it was a lovely evening; we both thoroughly enjoyed their delicious Old Fashioned. But there was a heaviness in my soul. Uncertainty. When I remember back on that night, I distinctly recall just staring at him, not having anything delightful to talk about. This is not like me at all. I’m disappointed about that. But, I think it was an indication of what was to come.

Practically over night, there were two rejections. It stung way less than I expected. Then later, there were some very obvious form letter rejections – I’m 99 percent sure they didn’t even read my story. But then, there was this really nice rejection, which I received just a few weeks ago. It was the most custom of all! I suspect the agent actually skimmed my story, and the agent wrote, “I didn’t quite connect with the material on a heart and gut level…”

But why did those words give me such comfort?

Perhaps it’s just that I appreciated that they took the time? Maybe I have felt a tad discounted up until that email? Regardless, that latest rejection solidified what I’d already been doing: mentally walking it all back. My story, my querying, my attempt at illustration (I’ll make a separate post on that craziness) – it was all dangling out there in the balance. One might call this self-doubt, but I think it was a healthy examination. All of my remaining queries out in the universe couldn’t be changed, but obviously something on my end wasn’t right. It wasn’t working. I knew I’d have to sort through my thoughts, emotions, and insecurities just to figure out how to turn things around.

After some time, and thanks to the ole Internet, I discovered a few new things that helped me get going again, in what I hope is the right direction!

Part 3 to come soon!